Prarthana

The prayer I prayed almost everyday for 10 years of my life. I might forget so many things about school but not the prayer 'Prarthana'. We would sing one Marathi and one Hindi prayer ( the raaga was 'Kaali' I guess). Our music teacher would start the first line and we would follow. It was different experience to sing it, around 8 am in the morning and we would pray the motherland for strenght of our mind. I know many people would just lip sync as they used to consider it stupid to sing that prayer (really!). Funny thing is I used to say wrong words till 5th class I guess. The words are 'labhel devpan tya' and we would say 'labhel dev babantya';  for 'kate kutechi bharale' we would say 'kate kute chibharale' and wonder who was the stupid person who wrote this as it made no sense! It was not until my 5th ot 7th class when they painted this board next to principle's office. This painted by one of our drawing teachers. 

Here is loose meaning of the Marathi Prayer 

" I bow to the land where I was born. It is my 'Matrubhumi' (motherland)

   I bow to the land where I grew up. It is my 'Arybhumi' 

   I bow to the land for whom I toil

   I bow to the land where I will rest in peace

   There will be lot of hardships in your way

   Don't feel sad if you won't have comforts

   Cause only the stone that bears thousands blows attains divinity   "

I can still see myself surrounded by girls in while kurta and blue salwar, our queue being towards the far end of the crowd. Ah... school memories always make you nostalgic !

One of those bad days at work...

It's 11 o'clock in the night. You have had a long day... been working for more that 12 hours on a stupid issue which has no head or tail to analyse. You are tired, sleepy and frustrated.

Finally you decide that its time to call it a day and go home. You send update and about to enter the elevator. You get call from someone sitting merrily at home and he starts shouting at you left and right. It is so loud that your ear hurts. You don't understand what is happening. Thankfully your manager comes to your rescue but still the barking rings in your head.... 

What do you do?

I take cover of tears. I guess I am not that strong as I think for the professional life, isn't it?

A Thing about Silence

Do you ever feel like not talking at all? I mean you are sitting with bunch of people, everyone is talking, laughing and you just listen to all the sounds but don’t feel like saying anything. Or you want to get away to a silent place where there is no one but your thoughts to accompany you. I guess everyone feels like that once in a while. I know I do and I feel it all the time. There are many moments when I just want to listen or I want things to happen without saying anything. Like when I get up in the morning and get ready for office, I like to do things in silence. I hate if anyone breaks that early morning serenity. I guess I want to have those silent moments some more before I get out on the noisy roads. Believe me whenever I manage to have such mornings, my day goes absolutely perfect. I cannot bear too much of noise. It’s a wonder that I like rock music!

Its not that I am angry with people around me or with the world… I am just out of words. If I am with someone, I want the silence do the talking. Oh no… it’s not “naino se baate” and that kind of romantic stupidity. Sometimes it really bores me to mention each and everything explicitly in words. There are very few people with whom I can be comfortable in silence too. It is a funny thing actually; you don’t want to say a thing to the other person but you can’t be comfortable with everyone that way.

I guess I am not a person of words at least too much of words wasted in speech. I hate to sit in prolonged meeting discussing same thing again and again. After certain limit my mind switches off and goes off to a place far far away. I know this is not good; its not sign of a good professional, good team player… but that’s the way it is. You cannot make your mind function against its will, can you? I was not like this always. I was born a chatterbox. People from my neighborhood still remember how much I used bore them with my gibberish :-). But gradually it changed. My favorite childhood pastime was to watch kids play on the huge ground in front of my house. I could sit for hours doing that. These days my favorite place is my gallery. I like to watch the planes fly past. That is always my favorite part of the weekend.

Meditation experts suggest that silence purifies your soul. I donno if that applies to me. Most of the times I don’t even remember what I was thinking; thoughts just drift wide directions. Some people think that it is weird to be that way. Some think I am too proud to talk to people. I have tried to break that conception but I just don’t find the words.

Do you think it is really weird to be out of words?