Marriage : random thoughts

It was Sunday afternoon. After shopping in the scorching sun for hours together in the busiest and most crowded markets in the city me and sis sat down for a quick grab. This was just another road side joint where you need to grab plates and chairs by yourself. A family followed us in. The tired wife was taking all the pains to feed the family while the husband sat lazily bearing 'I am the king look'.
If you are expecting I will start blasting the so-called male domination in the society and lecture on plight of women, you might just be wrong. I mean I would be writing all that if it were few months ago. Perspectives change after marriage, you see! And as the the hubby says, 'we should think about a situation from various dimensions'.
If you consider this particular situation, it is possible that the wife herself had offered to do the work the husband is really tired or the wife is too dominating to let anyone handle any work or the husband is too dominating to do any work by himself etc etc... Lets just talk about what I thought I saw and what I felt about it.

First thought that came to my mind was what would I be thinking if I were in the wife's shoes. From the way she was carrying out things I felt she might not have realized that there something not right about the whole situation as she thinks it is her 'duty'. That's what her mother (the whole society) has taught her right from her birth. "A woman should always take a second place in her life be it as a mother, sister or a wife. That's the society tradition."

I guess I wouldn't have felt so. I hate such imposed traditions which have no logical inference in today's modern world. People (men, society whomsoever you may want to address) have moulded the (so called) traditions as per their convenience and comfort.

Though I claim to be 'open mined person' now, as a child I didn't even know what my mom's likes and dislikes were. She never imposed them on us and we seldom tried to understand what she really wanted. Even she might not have thought about it herself. It was so natural to her to cook our favourite dishes, shop for us, get our homework done... zillions of things... And we never realized till we grew up that it was not right.

It all comes back to me now when I am trying adjust myself in the new family. A newly married girl is expected to leave her past behind and start new life from scratch and adopt to new rules from the day one. How is that possible? Here it is not the question of having a good or bad family ethics. Its just different...!!!

Have you attended any soft skill training on behavioural patterns? The science says, it is basic human nature to react to any change with a shock or denial. A girl like me who is used to finding her way in most of things, finds it difficult to adjust to suddenly being dictated to do things, observed and judged about every thing she does. Coming from a family where you are pampered and given highest priority, it's hurting to realize that you will be the last person to be considered after marriage... you no longer are part of the family you love and adore so much.

There are times when life feels totally frustrating and beyond logical thinking and then there are times when I feel totally blessed.
As I adjust with the changes and learn my way to enjoy them, I wonder at times what does marriage actually means to me... ?